by Tor Oddmund Suhrke
The grenades are pouring down. We just barely missed getting struck by the last attack. They’ve spotted us now. 20 soldiers are heading our way. Blam! Blam! BLAM! Tobias is dead, Øystein has betrayed us, and Halvor is lying in his own pile of blood. It’s only Einar and TorO now. As they turn around, Scott directs a herd of bisons their way. They get forced down on the ground, and while the bisons are stumping their heads down in the mud, suddenly…
TorO wakes up as his head fiercely rams into the roof of his bunk.
“Thank God, it was only a dream!” TorO thought to himself as he rolls out of bed. “But what’s going on?”
He considers his jeans worthy of their 22nd consecutive day without washing them, as he throws them on. He struggle his way down to Scott, who’s in charge of keeping the bus on, what appears to be, the most bumpy road in Hungary. Scott is calm as usual.
“Hand me the black pack of vanilla cigarettes will you?” He asks gently.
“Where are we?” TorO replies, unable to find the cigarettes.
“They’re lying under my laptop.” He adds, while pointing in the direction of the overhead compartment. “We had to take a detour. There was an accident on the highway you see, but I asked around, and this is supposed to be the best way we can cross the river, without having to take one of those small ferries.”
Something in Scott’s eyes gives TorO an uneasy feeling.
“Are you ok Scott?” he asks, while handing Scott the cigarettes. Scott tries his best not to show what he’s really thinking, but it’s all in vain.
“It’s just that we’ve been driving on this road for 1,5 hours now, and I’m starting to think that the guy who gave me the directions might not have been a professor in English after all.” He lights his cigarette, and leans back into his seat.
“Mmmmh.” Øystein sneaks naked out of Joachim’s bunk. “And where exactly do you think you’re going mister?” Joachim whispers with his sexy, rusty morning voice.
“I’m just heading to the front of the bus to see what’s going on with these bumpy roads.” Øystein replies.
“You didn’t seem to mind the bumpy roads last night!” Joachim adds, and gives Øystein one of his famous winks. “I miss you already!”
Øystein throws himself at him, and as their lips meet, all the bumps in the world couldn’t stop them. “Let us make breakfast” Joachim says in that all to familiar voice.
Øystein stuffs his salami right in the middle of Joachim’s freshly baked donut. “Mmm, that’s good!” Joachim shouts eagerly. “The only thing missing is some dressing.”
“Well I happen to have some right here!” Øystein laughs. “Just wait one more second! Here it is! I found it!” Øystein squirts some delicious dressing on to Joachim’s donut.
Joachim dips his finger in the dressing and then licks it all off, slowly. “Now, that’s what I call good dressing!” he laughs.
“Is that a line of cars forming down there?” TorO asks Scott, as he points his finger down the road.
“I’m not sure, but at least it looks like we’re getting closer to the river.” Scott replies. “I can feel it.”
“Øystein! Can’t you put on some clothes for once?!” TorO asks politely, yet a bit harsh, the moment Øystein sits down next to him. Øystein starts to cry.
“Was that really necessary?” Joachim shouts from his bunk. He climbs down. “Now, I have to spend the rest of the day comforting him!” He grabs one of the panties Øystein has left in his bunk, and throws them at him. “Here you go! Put this on, and maybe Mr. grumpy pants won’t be hassling you anymore.”
Øystein starts to giggle.
“What’s that?” Joachim asks, as he sits down with his great looking just-got-out-of-bed hair.
“It’s a fuckin’ ferry,” Scott sighs, while everybody starts laughing “and it’s probably about half the size of the bus”.
“Wake up!” Einar raises his voice to get TorO’s attention.
Øystein gets a bit startled and starts to cry.
“Where am I?” TorO asks with an astonished look in his face.
“You passed out right before Donau devoured us completely. We took the trans Donauic passageway, and were put ashore in Vienna just a couple of minutes ago…”
“So we’re in Vienna now?” TorO asks out in the open as a rather slick expression covers his face. “Then I can get my camera back!”
“Ha ha ha! You and your camera” Halvor says, while he winks to the other guys.
Everybody laughs, winks and high five each other. What a gang!